Take This Waltz: 2 Stars

Bathroom Meter: This one’s tricky. It should really get 1 star for the sheer number of walk-outs we get. But at the same time, there is this small set of people (mostly young women) who really like the film. So let’s go with 2 stars.

A happily married woman (Michelle Williams) falls for her artist neighbor (Luke Kirby). Seth Rogen plays the unsuspecting husband, and Sarah Silverman plays the best friend.

They decided to scrap the original title, “Comedians Can Be Serious Too.”

Have I sat down to watch it? No way.

Have I theater-watched it? Yes, I’ve seen the entire movie in bits and pieces.

Main Audience Demographic: Young to middle-aged women.

Audience reaction as they leave the theater: They’re baffled, asking us what actually happened in the end. Or they’re frustrated, telling us what a weird, weird movie it was.

Best comment: “It was so much like real life.”

Worst comment: “If I see Michelle Williams in one more movie, I’m going to claw my eyes out.”

See it or not? No. Unless you love Seth Rogen. He’s the only reason to watch this movie. It’s nice to see him play a serious role for a change. But Michelle Williams’ character…well, she’s in denial at best, and completely obnoxious at worst. Many of her lines elicit actual groans from the audience.

Luke Kirby’s character is a little interesting, but overall he’s too cliche. We’ve seen that “poor, charming artist type” in a hundred other movies.

“I will steal you away with my cocky attitude and finely coiffed ‘do.”

Overall, Take This Waltz manages to feel way too close to reality in most moments, and then completely melodramatic the rest of the time. If I hear Michelle Williams say one more word about “being afraid of being afraid” I too plan on clawing my eyes out.

So, yeah. This one’s a pass.

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